Dear Customers (December 15th)

Dear customers, no… You can’t have the two free without buying one.

Dear customers, “Can I have my size?” doesn’t help me. I need a number.

Dear customers, you can’t just point in the general direction of a section and ask to try ‘that pair’ on. Be more specific.

Dear customers, looking at a shelf of heels and asking for the tall ones does not help me. At all.

Dear customers, if you come in and ask to try on more than 5 pairs of clearance shoes, know that I am cursing under my breath.

Dear customers, please stop acting like whether or not to purchase a pair of 10 dollar shoes is a life or death decision. It’s 10 dollars. And no, I’m not putting them on hold.

Dear customers, if you have to put shoes on hold and then come back with your mother, boyfriend, sister, friend, brother, father or imaginary friend to make your decision for you, you need to learn to be more independent.

Dear customers, stop thinking you’re a half size. You’re not all special.

Dear customers, please stop bending my shoes. They’re flats. No, they don’t have support. Stop trying to snap them in half to prove your point.

Dear customers, if you ask, I will tell you what shoes in the store are real leather. You look stupid walking around smelling all of the shoes on the shelf.

Dear customers, why do you feel the need to say “seriously?” when I tell you the deal. I’m not joking. I’m not standing at the door telling you fake deals for shits and gigs.

Dear customers, no, you can’t return something that is final sale. Not sure why that’s a shock.

Dear customers, why do you feel the need to put everything back on the shelf backwards?

Dear customers, please refrain from tearing the soles out of shoes.

Dear customers, yes, please come destroy every display and then not buy anything. I love when you do that.

Dear customers, no… You can’t use your store credit from a completely different company at this store.

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