Life as a Recent Grad (a.k.a. The ‘No, I Don’t Have a Job Yet’ Phase)

I’ve realized something. Life as a recent grad is not that glamorous image you picture when you think of what your future will be. No no… Life as a recent grad is really just a lot of trying to convince people (and sometimes yourself) that you’re not a fucking trainwreck.

When fourth year was coming to a close, I thought I somewhat had my shit together because I knew what I wanted to do after graduation. You know when you’re nearing the end of your university career and people from class, your profs, parents, friends, relatives, bell store employees, creepy neighbours and nagging voices inside your head ask you what you want to do once you graduate? Well I had an answer… I got to say that I was moving back to the GTA and looking forward to starting a career in public relations, which I’ve wanted to do since my first year in Carleton’s journalism program. I actually had an interview set up at a PR agency in Toronto for a September internship *insert dramatic hair flip*.

Knowing that I had an answer to that question felt something like this:
the duff 2

After my exams, I was sad to see the end of my time in Ottawa, but I was eager to get going on the next chapter of my life. I said my goodbyes, packed up my shit and hit the 401. I had an interview coming up, I was moving into my grandparents’ basement apartment that I had been eyeing for five years and it didn’t hurt that the guy I had been seeing for the last few weeks would be moving back to the same area, too. I had this twenty-something life figured out. Bring on the sangria and sunshine, bitches.

Things were pretty fabulous to be honest. But I forgot to factor in a few things… When planning out my post-grad life, I kind of neglected to realize that there was going to be this awkward phase before my next chapter really started…

My plan was to work part-time for the summer at my family’s store in Pickering to have fun and give myself a bit of a break before moving into PR in the fall. Not bad, right? Life as a freeloading grandchild consisted of lounging by the pool during the day and yummy meals with my grandparents at night. I got the internship I interviewed for, so I got to cross ‘find something for September’ off my list and I was still talking to that guy, so that was a bonus.

Yeah… I miscalculated a few things…

Living with my grandparents is still awesome. Not only do I get to spend time with them, I also love my apartment and the location of their house. Here’s where my plan faltered. To start, that guy went MIA. He ended up getting back together with his ex. He actually did it without so much as a text to let me know… tsk tsk. Turns out girls are not the only bitches. So that was that. Then I realized that although I was working part-time to have free time to relax and make the most of my summer, my friends were not. Those were two things that I should have anticipated, but did not. Cue the Carrie Bradshaw-esque nights of drinking wine alone and writing.

Originally, when I thought about my post-grad life, all I thought of was when I would eventually be working in Toronto at a PR agency, grabbing cocktails after work and wearing some fab shoes (I take my future seriously, I swear). What I’m getting at is I was not prepared for this limbo phase. Apparently life as a recent grad is a little different than I expected.
Here’s what it’s really like:

Life as a recent grad is trying not to roll your eyes like a melodramatic teenager when you go to dinner with your parents and they tell you to ‘put yourself out there’ and find a boyfriend.

Life as a recent grad is losing track of the time of day because you have nowhere to be and attempting to order a McChicken meal at 10:47 a.m.

Life as a recent grad is being sassed by the McDonalds employee for ordering lunch while they’re serving breakfast.

Life as a recent grad is explaining to customers who recognize you from your days at the family business back in high school that you’re really only there for the summer. You do have plans.

Life as a recent grad is naming the groundhogs living in the backyard while lounging by the pool because you’re off and all of your friends are at work. They’re Alan and Otis by the way…

Life as a recent grad is getting too drunk off of sangria because your tolerance has dipped to an all-time low since you never go out anymore.

Life as a recent grad is avoiding looking at your bank balance after those extra shopping trips and touristy things in Toronto.

Life as a recent grad is signing up for every possible points card.

Life as a recent grad is booking all appointments before you’re kicked off your parents’ insurance plan.

Life as a recent grad is pretending to give a shit about your LinkedIn profile.

Life as a recent grad is comparing yourself to every other recent grad and hoping that you don’t seem too far behind everyone else.

Life as a recent grad is waiting around for real life to actually start.

But in the meantime… do whatever the hell you want. It’s not like you have assignments to do.

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