Sh*t My Dad Says: Round 3

In honour of his birthday this week, here’s the latest list of ‘Classic Keven’ moments.

1. While Matt was getting ready for prom: “Matt, I told you. Prom isn’t about you, it’s about the girls. What you want doesn’t matter.”

2. To the neighbour before I moved into my grandparents’ house: “Are your boys home? Good. My daughter is moving in next door and needs a boyfriend.”

3. While paying for dinner: “Laurie, can we use your credit card? I can’t see a damn thing.”

4. As students were walking down the aisle at my grad: “100 grand…. 100 grand… 100 grand…”

5. As Matt is DD (in a calm voice): “Matt, hit the fucking brake.”

6. Casually reminding us of the house rules: “Rule number one: don’t upset your mother. Rule number two: refer back to rule number one.”

7. At Matt’s grad: “Three hours Jenna? Are you kidding me? I will pay you off to get me out of here early.”

 Here’s a nice picture of the moment he found out it was a 3-hour ceremony:IMG_0036

8. When my mom said, “everyone says it that way.”: “You know who everyone is? Your mother.”

9. When explaining how he never has to wait in line at a certain office: “I don’t wait. I walk in and they call me right away. It’s fast. Plus I bring them steaks every once in a while.”

10. When obsessing over his car: “I try not to drive at night. Then you don’t get bugs on your car.”

11. When discussing how he’s going to maintain his diet on his cruise: “I’m not really going to eat anything on the cruise. I’m going to save my calories for the booze. I have the unlimited drinking package.”

12. Further explaining that plan: “Rye and diet: 100 calories. Domestic beer: 157 calories. A good calorie intake for the day is 1200. Do the math.”

13. In a text when I said I would come into work on my day off: “You Da Bestest.”

14. While my mom is DD-ing us back to Uxbridge: *reclines passenger seat all the way back* “Whoaaaaaa this thing just keeps on going, eh?”

15. When my mom asked what the hell he was wearing: “What…? I match. Plaid and plaid…”

Apparently this outfit is acceptable:


Then again, I also saw him wearing this once:


Classic Keven.


Sh*t My Dad Says: Round 2

Just a few more quotes from Kev.

For the record, my dad is aware that I keep this list on my phone. He loves it. He’s constantly requesting that I read out the quotes when we have company over.  It’s like he thinks he’s funny or something.

1. When reading the bill at dinner without his glasses: “Can’t read shit.  Looks good.” *Takes out credit card*. When my mom asked if he wanted to know the total: “No. It looks like a big number…”

2. When telling us about when my mom moved in: “It took her six months to stop asking if she could have a cookie.”

3. When discussing childhood: “I didn’t have friends. I had dogs.”

4. While drumming on the steering wheel: “You know I’m all about the bass, ’bout the bass, no trouble.

5. When I told my parents I went to the Panda Game with my friends and they didn’t believe me: “You went to a football game and it wasn’t a date… Right… Because I remember all the times we watched the Super Bowl together…”

6. When discussing me moving in April: “You have until April to get a boyfriend. I need the guy to help me move your furniture.”

7. While I was borrowing my grandmother’s car for the winter: “Jenna, part of having the car is washing it when you can no longer see out of the windows. I just called to tell you that.”

8. In the background while I’m on the phone with my mom: “Tell her to do the assignment she’s procrastinating right now!”

9. When Melissa was talking about her discussion with her students about who does more cooking in their families: “Did you tell them our kitchen is closed until Christmas?”

10. When he sent a text with a picture of my mom at the stove: “Yes, it is Laurie.”

11. In response to my mom saying he messed up banking: “I don’t really know what your problems are and frankly, I don’t care.”

12. While teaching him to play a simple family domino game, Mexican Train: “You guys are pissing me off with these f***ing rules.”

13. When talking about the separate lounge area they bought into on a cruise: “Well Gen Pop is too crowded.”

14. My mom goes by Laurie. Legally, her name is Laura, which is what is on her cruise ID. When back at home after vacation: “I like Laura. Laura really likes Rye and Cokes. Laura’s more fun.”

15. When I told him I hit a savings goal I had set: “Okay good. Lend me some cash so I can keep Princess Laurie in the lifestyle she is accustomed to.  She is becoming high maintenance.”

16. My siblings and I have a shared data plan. My brother chews up almost all of it well before the bill renews on the 10th of each month. When I sent him a message saying, “It’s not even November and Matt has blown through 2.5 GB”: “Yes dear.” No further comment…

17. Back to the private lounge area on the cruise. It’s called Vibe. Only 60 spots are available and it’s first come, first served. He sent me this from the ship: “We are out of Gen Pop. I pushed my way into first in line.”  He takes this shit seriously. Just to emphasize that point, here’s a picture of him on a recent vacation where he and my mom were the first people to make it through check in. That tag he’s holding says ‘Group 1’. Please note that NO ONE ELSE IS THERE YET.


18. The time he sent me a text when they were almost late to the cruise port because of traffic and would have missed Vibe: “Almost didn’t get it. I was scared. The idiot cab driver did not take the tunnel like I told him to. I actually made the cab pull over and took my luggage out and started walking from downtown Miami. Your mom was freaking.”

19. In case you haven’t yet clued in, my parents really like cruising. On their latest vacation, they went sailboat racing. In front of everyone on board when the boat was rocking back and forth: “Laurie, don’t fall overboard! Who’s going to do the laundry!?” 

20. And the best one: “Are you going to add that to your list…?”

Classic Keven.

The 15 Guys You’ll Date in University: The Realistic and Relatable Version.

Cosmopolitan and Buzzfeed have both done similar lists to this, but I couldn’t help but make one myself.  I think everyone can relate to a few of these.

What made writing this list so fun is the fact that each guy listed below is based on either a guy in my life or in the life of a friend. Making this was an absolute blast.

1. The DIY Pinterest Project
He’s the one that doesn’t turn out the way you expected, even though it made so much sense. You had the materials. You could see what the outcome was going to be and you wanted it. It was so close and started so strong. But somewhere along the line, you screw it up and it doesn’t end up nearly as glamorous and perfect as what you thought you could make it. In the end you’re just left questioning why you thought you could pull this off while you hide the evidence of your failed attempt in the back of your closet.

2. The Campus Wi-Fi
He’s the one that’s flaky. He’s there… you know it, but you can’t connect. You try multiple times, but you don’t get the response you want. And if you do get a response, it takes forever. But then you’ll have a day where he doesn’t cut out or disappear or disconnect. He’s there for you and things just run so smoothly and you forget that you spent the last few days ranting about how annoying it is that the signals aren’t strong enough—until he reminds you the following week.

3. The New Arrival That’s on Clearance
He’s the one that’s a rarity. He’s the one that you find and then go home to call all your friends about because you just can’t believe you actually found something so perfect. He’s that one that’s the one—he’s what you want but doesn’t cost you everything you have. There’s a rule about finds like this. When you call your friends to tell them all about your wonderful luck, you must tell them where you found it and if it comes in their size and favourite colour.

4. The Lame Movie
He’s the one you go to because it looked so promising, but you just end up disappointed because it ran way too long and the ending sucked. You wish you could get your investment back since it really wasn’t worth it, but you know that won’t happen. You feel let down, but you just move on and hope that the next movie doesn’t make you feel the same way this one did.

5. The Bottle of Wine
He’s the one who turned into your best friend. When you first start drinking wine, you think you’re in love. You finally feel fearless and confident. But over time, the love changes. You begin to realize that you love wine, but you’re not in love with it. Eventually, it becomes your dependable friend that you turn to when everything else falls apart. Wine will always be there to comfort you and give you that confidence back when you lose it. It’s a strong bond, but it’s a friendship, not a relationship.

6. The Sparkler
He’s the one that you only get to enjoy for a short while. You love the time you have where sparks are flying and shedding light where it’s dark. You’re smiling and taking cheesy pictures because that’s just what you do when sparks are involved. But unfortunately sparklers burn out and they do so quickly. In the end, you just have memories and pictures of the good time you had. Break out the bottle of Pinot. And by bottle, I mean bottles.

7. The MacBook
He’s the one who isn’t user friendly. At first, you’re excited to have this MacBook. It’s yours and although it’s complicated, you’re looking forward to figuring out how it works. That seems like a fun challenge since you were getting bored of simple PC’s. However, that excitement begins to wear off when everything you knew about computers doesn’t apply to this one. It works in its own mysterious ways. And just when you start to get along and have figured out the tricks to spending time with your MacBook, it gets mad at you, flips you the rainbow wheel and freezes. As annoying as it is, you know it needs time to shut down and take a break before you can even consider trying to figure out what happened this time.

8. The “No Deal”
He’s the one that is good enough, but not as exciting as the thrill of what’s in the next box. The banker has already called and offered you a deal. It really is enough. You could definitely make things work with what he’s offering. Howie Mandel even told you so. After all, you went into the game knowing you may come out empty handed, so walking out with a decent deal could be satisfying. But can you settle with this deal when you know that pressing that No Deal button could lead to something better? No. You can’t. It’s going to be no deal, Howie. No deal.
You decide to leave this one behind and go for the excitement of picking the next box—even though it means risking picking the wrong box and having to live with regret when you can’t get your old deal back.

9. The Manicure
He’s the pretty one that you treat yourself to every once in a while even though you know it’s never actually going to last long. It’s only a matter of time before the chips start and you’re forced to wipe your nails clean. You always say it was a waste, but deep down inside you know you’ll be back again.

10. The Game of Clue
He’s the puzzling one. The relationship died, but what happened is unknown. You want to know the cause of death, but it will require some investigating. Who caused it? How did they do it? Where did it all go wrong? You’re a suspect, he’s a suspect, that ‘friend’ you’re pretty sure he loves is a suspect. You don’t know for sure and you have no idea what the weapon of destruction was or where the murder happened, but you plan on finding out. Accusations will be made.

11. The Dragon Fire Roller Coaster
He’s the starter one. He’s the first one you try out to see if you can handle roller coasters. It’s a good choice. There aren’t too many steep hills that make you feel like you’re about to fly off the track or crash to the ground, but there are still a few small loops to give you a few thrills without scaring you. It moves fast, but not too fast. When it’s over, you know you enjoyed yourself, but you’re ready for something a little crazier and a little more exciting. You move onto the next coaster, but you will always appreciate that first one.

12. The Bad Hair Cut
He’s the one that didn’t work and everyone knows about it. At first you thought you could pull it off. You told everyone that you thought it would work out so well. With that cut and your cheekbones, it was going to be a perfect match. But of course what you thought would work didn’t. In the end, everyone knows you went for it and hated it and now you have to pretend you don’t even care while you wait for time to pass so it grows out and people forget about that mistake you made. Quick, delete the photo evidence.

13. The Shoes You Can’t Break In
He’s the one who hurts you. When you first go out in that new pair of shoes, you think it’s going to be a great. You look good, you feel good and you’re pretty sure every other girl is jealous of you. But then things take a turn for the worse. The first night you go out with those shoes you come back with a blister. It hurts, but it’s not so bad. But then you go out again and when you return home you’re in more pain than you were last time. You thought it would get better, that the shoes would start to fit your feet the way you wanted them to, but they don’t. You may try a few more times, but they still cause you pain. And that’s when you take them off and promise to never wear them again. They aren’t worth it.

14. Your Shade of Lipstick
He’s the one worth standing up for. When you finally find a shade of lipstick that you love, it doesn’t matter what everyone else says. You stick with it. Your friends may tell you the colour is a bit too much and your mom will probably think it’s obnoxious, but you don’t care. If that shade of lipstick makes you feel like your best self, ignoring everyone else’s comments is worth it. You never know, maybe eventually they’ll warm up to the colour.

15. The Song Featuring Nicki Minaj
He’s the one with the turn off. Everyone loves finding new songs. You blast it in the car and try to sing words that you don’t know as loud as you can because you just don’t care. The song is too good not to. Then all of a sudden Nicki Minaj shows up to sing a verse and ruins it. The song just isn’t that good anymore. You have to choose: accept the annoying Nicki Minaj verse and keep listening to the song or change the station and let it go.

Holy Sh*t, I’m 20…

The most useful book I’ve ever read was an impulsive purchase that I couldn’t resist.  I was in line at a home decor store (I can’t remember which) the summer before my first year at Carleton and saw it by the cash.  I bought it for the funny title, but figured it probably contained some decent advice.  It did.

This impulse buy was as good as the time I decided to buy that first bottle of wine…

Your 20’s are when you grow up, start life and let’s be serious, get your shit together. This book is filled with tips on how to do that and I’ve decided to share some of them with you lucky people.

The book has twenty chapters and I’ve picked my favourite tip from each one. It’s lovely because it looks like I planned this out to time it perfectly for a post in the week of my twentieth birthday. Twenty chapters, Twenty tips, Twentieth birthday.  What a theme. It worked out so well that I couldn’t help but change the title to match– it now contains twenty characters. I didn’t stop there– the previous sentence contains twenty words. Multiply the number of sentences by two and you get twenty. Finally, this paragraph is one hundred words. Divide that by five? Twenty.

**Please feel free to re-read that awesomely designed paragraph.  I’m rather content with it.

I’ve chosen 20 tips, but there are 1001.  I honestly recommend that you buy this book because I’ve never seen so much useful information in one binding– and I’m an avid Cosmopolitan reader.

The book: 1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before They Leave Home (Or Else They’ll Come Back) by Harry H. Harrison Jr.

Chapter 1. They Should Know Life Is Difficult So They Won’t Get Discouraged and Move Home

“38. They should know overcoming difficult times is how people gain self-respect.  And the respect of others.”

Chapter 2. They Should Know How to Not Look Stupid Because People Will Notice and They’ll Have to Move Home

“103. They should know how to defend a position without yelling, swearing, or door slamming.  And it’s a bonus if they know what they’re talking about.”

Chapter 3. They Should Know How to Get a Job So They Can Make Their Own Money and Not Have to Move Home.

“177. They should know to remember the goal in negotiations is not to get fifty grand a year.   It’s to get hired, get trained, get experience, build their value, get money, and get out of the house.”

Chapter 4. They Should Know How to Keep a Job and Get Promoted So They Don’t Get Fired and Have to Move Home

“246. They should know successful people are delusional: they’re not as good or as smart or as necessary as they think they are.  But their confidence takes them to the top.”

Chapter 5. They Should Know How to Live on a Starting Salary So They Won’t Go Broke and Have to Move Home

“325. They should know the unexpected happens every month.  Sewers back up.  Friends walk through glass doors.  The old lady next door doesn’t put her cigarette out.  They need to budget for the unexpected too.”

Chapter 6. They Should Know Where “The Money” is So They Don’t Get Stuck in a Loser Career and Have to Move Home

“353. Public Relations Specialist”  Yay for hope that I could someday be successful.   This chapter was a list of the top fifty career choices based on salary and growth.

Chapter 7. They Should Know How to Locate and Conduct Themselves in Their First Apartment So They’re Not Thrown Out and Have to Move Home

“397.  They should know to budget no more than one-fortieth of their annual income on monthly rent.  That means if they’re making $35,000 a year, they can afford $875 a month.  Tops.”

Chapter 8. They Should Know How to Move Their Stuff So It Doesn’t Get Broken or Lost and They Have to Move Home

“447. They should know one of the great things about a house-warming party is that friends will help unpack boxes as long as they can drink and eat.”

Chapter 9. They Should Know to Avoid Declaring Bankruptcy So They Don’t Have to Move Home

“453. They should know that bankruptcy will follow them for seven to ten years and cost them thousands and thousands of dollars in higher interest payments.”

Chapter 10. They Should Know About Relationships So a Bad One Won’t Force Them to Move Home

“480. They should know that seeking perfection in a mate will assure them of a lifetime of loneliness and disappointment.”

Chapter 11. They Should Know How to Live Without Mom Waking Them Up, Doing Their Laundry, and Taking Care Of Them or Else They’ll Move Home.

“599. They should know most of the world’s truly  successful people wake up before everyone else.”

Chapter 12. They Should Know the Secrets of Home Repair and Home Depot So When Something Breaks, They Won’t Move Home

“639. They should know they won’t look like a fool by walking into a Home Depot and announcing they don’t know what they need, how to install it, or where it goes.  They’ll look like a customer.”

Chapter 13. They Should Know How to Buy and Maintain a Car So They Don’t Spend $50,000 on a Junker and Have to Move Home

“They should know that, at the end of the month, dealers would sell their mother to sell a car.  By the end of the year, they’re eyeing their first born.”

Chapter 14. They Should Have an Adult’s Vocabulary So They Don’t Sound Like a Teenager and Have to Move Home.

This chapter was a list of 100 words every high school graduate should know.  BRB while I google at least half of the words while feeling like a failure.

Chapter 15. They Should Know How to Get So Rich, Their Parents Can Move in With Them

“795. They should know these three words: get rich slowly. Works every time.”

Chapter 16. They Should Know What Gets the FBI and IRS So Mad at Them, They Have to Hide Out and Move Home

“820. They should know filing too many exemptions is just like stamping their return with a big red ‘AUDIT ME’ stamp.”

Chapter 17. They Should Know God Loves Them Even When Nobody Else Does So a Spiritual Crisis Doesn’t Cause Them to Move Home

“851. They should know to decide in advance what kind of person they want to be in all situations.  Or they’ll leave themselves vulnerable.”

Chapter 18. They Should Know How to Avoid Getting Sued So They Don’t Have to Spend All Their Money on Lawyers and Move Home

“895. They should know to not crack sexual jokes at work.  Talk about gardening.”

Chapter 19. They Need to Know to Hold On to Their Ethics So They Don’t Sell Out and Have to Move Home.

“932. They should know that if they wait to do the right thing, the right thing may never get done.”

Chapter 20. They Should Know How to Act and Think Like an Adult Because the Alternative Will Force Them to Move Home

“965. They should not be afraid to make a decision.  And stick with it.”

Secret Messages, 2nd Edition

Works the same as the ‘To The People I Talk to Most’ post.

While procrastinating, I decided to do a little creeping on Facebook and Twitter.  And by ‘a little,’ I mean a lot.

I had way too much fun with this… now if you were tagged in any photos after 7:15 pm on Nov. 3,  your photo numbers could be off…

Here’s what I stumbled across:

To the one who has way too many blazers,

In the album titled ‘Me,’ picture number eleven: by far the cutest picture of him in my opinion.  So cute.

To the one whose bus pass is always lost,

Under ‘Photos of You,’ picture 217.  It’s from prom.  It’s not your photo, you were tagged in it.  YOU MAKE THIS FACE ALL THE TIME. Also, sorry… yours is the most annoying to find.

To the one I once lent my Gossip Girl discs to and who had to deal with my blackberry alarm (sorry again),

Timeline photos, posted on Dec 27, 2011: cutest best friend shot.  I love it. Also, mobile uploads, photo 26 (soaking up rays).  My fave ❤

To the one who used to have the rainbow necklace,

Your tweet on Oct 24 at 6:23 (had to specify the time since you tweet so damn much) made me laugh.  Your life is hilarious.   I love creeping your twitter. Also, photos of you on facebook, number 32: You champ.  I love it.

To the one who knows what “secrets can kill” and “deception island” refer to,

Question: why do you follow both of the Obamas on Twitter…? Also, profile pictures from Jan 26, 2010 and Sept 29, 2009 … learn how to hold the damn dog.  The one from Jan 26, 2010 is priceless.

To the one who knows what “birdwatching” refers to,

Photos of you, number 53. Cutest photo ever.  It would be such a stunning black and white.  My birthday is Nov 9th.  I’ll accept a framed copy as a gift.  K thanks.

To the one who wants to try Peach Four Loko,

3rd oldest album, photo 6.  YOU ARE SO YOUNG. Also, loving the hairstyle.  You should wear it like that again.

To the one who has the online shopping addiction,

Profile picture number 5 is my favourite. Put that in black and white, you model.  Also, in profile picture number 12, you look like your sister! I never noticed that before.

To the one who’s doing all of the impressive research,

Photos of you, number 84: I totally forgot this happened.  So embarrassing but it was fun, so that’s okay.  Btw, you look absolutely stellar in the picture before that.

To the one who walked into my wall after drinking too much wine,

Photos of you, number 111: Memories to never forget.  Thanks for always being crazy and awesome and completely you.  There’s a reason everyone loves you– don’t forget that.

To the one who will have a car here next year,

Well first of all, the hashtag on your tweet from Oct 18 at 5:53… love it. Also, photos of you number 87: sums us up pretty well i think.

To the one who told me what the giraffe picture riddle answer was,

Profile picture number 47: could you have whiter teeth…? Such a good picture, I love it.  And under photos of you, number 66 (taken May 13): LOVE THIS

To the one I sent the “my consumption for the next 36 hours:” text to before the midterm,

Your one photo in iOS uploads still makes me laugh.  I love it.

To the one who pulled the tablecloth to win in Spoons,

Let me start by saying I felt creepier than usual for this one considering we’re not facebook friends… but sorry not sorry… creeped it anyway.  Your first profile picture and the one from June 20, 2012 are super pretty. Also, on the last one, I’m surprised he spelled ‘beautiful’ right.

To the one who uses the nickname I hate,

Now this one took effort to find.  It was on my timeline ages ago when you were tagged, but when I went to find it, it looked like you had hidden it.  Fortunately, I somehow remembered who posted it…. I’m guessing you hid it for a reason, so rather than telling you where it is and risking someone figuring out who this message is to and finding it, text me and i’ll tell you where it is.

To the one who sent the “Sparrow Face” snapchat.

Go find the album you posted with my name and the name of one other person in the title.  I love it.  Random shit like this is why we’re friends.

To the one who got me addicted to Strawberry Blended Lemonade at Starbucks,

Well first of all… photos of you, number 6. I love it because I love the story that goes with it. Second, the album titled, ‘odds n ends’.  The entire album is hilarious and I’m totally not sorry for creeping this far.  I also noticed that in the last photos you’re wearing heels. ACTUAL HEELS.

To the one who “lives on the bus,”

Photos of you, number 5:  i’m in love with your outfit. And profile pic number 44 (yes… i went that far) is super adorable.

To the one who calls me Asian,

In profile picture 3, you look high… also,  don’t post song lyrics with your pictures… you’re not a girl.

To the one who sucks at the game clue and likes the nastiest flavours of Stride gum,

Photos of you, number 19.  Who are you, Miley Cyrus?

To the one who always says, “gurl” and “loves It,”

On September 30, 2009, you were tagged in a picture with the caption: *note marsh…. you model, you…

To the one who thinks Ottawa is too French,

Mobile uploads number 4: the truest fact of all the facts.

Shit My Dad Says

You might have seen some of these on Twitter already… I tend to tweet about my family when I’m home.

1. “I rented out a room in my first apartment.  I charged the guy the rent for the entire apartment. He didn’t know.”

2. “I used to sell am/fm walkmans at school. Thirty bucks.”

3. When advising Melissa on how to get a job after graduation: “Be like Katniss.”

4. “I’m spending all my money now so I don’t have to give any to the kids.”

5. “Shut up.  Your mom loves pictures, we love pictures.”

6. When they were going ring shopping: “I’m going to go looking poor so they only show your mom the cheap rings.”

7. “I used to breed dogs.  I’d sell them when I walked my own dog.  I’d bring an extra and when kids stopped to pet it, I’d tell the parents, ‘$150 and it’s yours.'”

8. When I told him I did well on a midterm for a class I don’t go to.  “That’s great.  Do we get a tuition refund for you not going to class?”

9. When my parents were leaving for vacation and giving my siblings and I the rules: “And we usually go out for dinner on Fridays, so if you guys want, go to King Henry’s.  Melissa, you can bring Derek.  Matt, you can bring Alarice.  Jenna, you can bring….. yourself… or a friend or something.”

10. When giving me wine at dinner: “Jenna, I don’t know if you’ll like this.  It costs more than $9.95.”

11. When complaining about my mom’s automatic air fresheners: “My food tastes like bounce sheets.”

12. To Melissa: “If you get my pillow from upstairs I’ll buy you a nice gift when you get married.”

To The People I Talk to Most

I thought it would be nice to post some messages to my friends.

Then I decided to not include any names. This seemed like more fun.

So my dear friends, can you find your message?

To the one who thinks i’m too sassy

If it weren’t for you, my midterm and exam grades in my communications and business classes would be absolutely pitiful.  Thanks for being my study buddy.

To the one who also loves Phil’s-osophies

I’m proud of you.  Keep working hard.  A few months ago I wrote you a letter and when you called me all upset because you lost it, I said I would write another.  Sorry I never did.  I promise I’ll write one soon.

To the one I always contact through FaceTime

I miss the days of bets, notes and you going through my purse.  I hope I get to see you soon.  If you ever come to Ottawa, set aside a night for us to hang out.

To the one who prefers ‘Diane’ to ‘Rose’

The other day I remembered ‘necklaces’ and ‘belt buckle’ and couldn’t help but laugh.  To you, I say thanks for always giving me more credit than I deserve and  I sincerely hope things start to work out for you– you deserve the best karma in the world.

To the one who I call so often, she assumes her missed calls are me

We need a day of cocktails and gossip.  In all the years we’ve been friends, we have never gone out drinking together.  We need to change this.  Those lists we love to make will be even funnier. Also, thank you for being the one to always read my pointless posts.  You rock.

To the one who has my spare key

First of all, congrats on finally finding that damn key.  Second of all, cheesy fall photos soon. Third of all, thanks for always listening to me ‘wine’ and complain.

To the one who also uses the 72 hour rule

My life would be rather dull at times if you didn’t let me tag along all the time.  Our days of using the 72 hour rule may be behind us, but I’m excited to see what we each find next.

To the one who always understood my need for walks and chocolate and the good swing

I hope someday you come visit Ottawa for a few days.  We’ll have marathons of  our favourite shows and I’ll buy you a Beavertail… it’s all sugar, so you’ll love it of course.  We can even go to Tim’s so you can shred your cup.

To the one who also says MFSMF

I would really really love it if I could come stay with you for a few days.  We need to hang out sometime when I’m not rushing back home so we can actually catch up without Skype glitching and freezing and making conversation difficult.

To the one who wanted help with math

I know you… If you’re reading this, you’re procrastinating.  BUT, since you’re here… Keep working hard– you’re close to accomplishing your goal.  I’ll see you in a few days!

To the one whose apartment I am in love with

I’m so happy we both have time to hang out on Fridays.  It’s nice to see you and catch up.  We’ll have to go to cabin together sometime soon.

To the one who also loves Scandal

I think we need some sort of weekly tradition.  Start brainstorming.  It has to be awesome.

To the one who knows what ‘H’ refers to

Regardless of the fact that you ended up falling on your head while drunk, I am always surprised at how well you handle alcohol.  Karaoke should happen again… maybe this time we won’t have to sprint to make the train or wind up waiting for the last bus.

To the one who understands just how much I love wine and how little I love reporting

As soon as your season of work is over and you are able to crash at my place, we are having the greatest wine night ever. And keep sending me snapchats!  They make the day more interesting.

To the one who knows how much I love the last word

I would be surprised if you stumbled across this message, but if you’re reading it, thanks for all of the hilariously entertaining conversations and arguments.  I hope you come visit Ottawa sometime soon.

To the one who shares my love of going to Billings Bridge to procrastinate

It’s been too long since we’ve ordered onion rings and pizza.  We should really fix that.  Ps. Thanks for always listening to me go on about the same old shit all the time.

To the one who loves El Jimador

You, my friend, have lots to learn in the next few years and I can’t wait to watch you make mistakes trying to do so.  If you ever need help, give me a call.  I promise I’ll only laugh a little before I lend a hand.

5 Fun Facts

My sister has this game she likes to play.  She asks you to list 5 fun facts about yourself.  It could be funny, unusual or something not many people know.  I see why she does it.  It’s actually really amusing.   You never know what you’ll learn about people…  Even some of my closest friends surprised me with their answers.

My 5 Fun Facts:

1. I’ve only broken one bone.  It was my collar bone and I broke it ninth grade… by falling on grass…. from ground level.

2. Not including my wisdom teeth, I’ve had 10 teeth pulled. I had five pulled in grade 5, one in grade 6, and four in grade 9.

3. I like listening to music that I don’t understand.  I have French and Italian songs on my iPod.

4. I’m one of those lame people that writes in diaries.  I wrote in one off and on for 11 years and now I’ve started a new one.  If you’re part of my life, you’re probably in it.  Sorry.

5. Some people hear certain songs and think of specific memories. I do that with playlists.  Currently, my iPod has 78… and that’s after deleting some.