Dear Customers (December 15th)

Dear customers, no… You can’t have the two free without buying one.

Dear customers, “Can I have my size?” doesn’t help me. I need a number.

Dear customers, you can’t just point in the general direction of a section and ask to try ‘that pair’ on. Be more specific.

Dear customers, looking at a shelf of heels and asking for the tall ones does not help me. At all.

Dear customers, if you come in and ask to try on more than 5 pairs of clearance shoes, know that I am cursing under my breath.

Dear customers, please stop acting like whether or not to purchase a pair of 10 dollar shoes is a life or death decision. It’s 10 dollars. And no, I’m not putting them on hold.

Dear customers, if you have to put shoes on hold and then come back with your mother, boyfriend, sister, friend, brother, father or imaginary friend to make your decision for you, you need to learn to be more independent.

Dear customers, stop thinking you’re a half size. You’re not all special.

Dear customers, please stop bending my shoes. They’re flats. No, they don’t have support. Stop trying to snap them in half to prove your point.

Dear customers, if you ask, I will tell you what shoes in the store are real leather. You look stupid walking around smelling all of the shoes on the shelf.

Dear customers, why do you feel the need to say “seriously?” when I tell you the deal. I’m not joking. I’m not standing at the door telling you fake deals for shits and gigs.

Dear customers, no, you can’t return something that is final sale. Not sure why that’s a shock.

Dear customers, why do you feel the need to put everything back on the shelf backwards?

Dear customers, please refrain from tearing the soles out of shoes.

Dear customers, yes, please come destroy every display and then not buy anything. I love when you do that.

Dear customers, no… You can’t use your store credit from a completely different company at this store.


Dear Customers (October 6th)

It’s been a while since I’ve complained about my customers…  weird since that’s one of my favourite pastimes.

Dear customers, no… In a buy one, get two free sale, you can’t pick two pairs now and come back another day for the third.

Dear customers, if you’re wearing crocs, I will not take you seriously.

Dear customers, if you’re going to stay fifteen minutes after close, at least buy something.

Dear customers, please don’t let your kids smear ice cream all over my couch.

Dear customers, yes you have to pay tax.  No, paying in cash does not change that.

Dear customers, cut the sass and stop rolling your eyes at me.  I didn’t price the shoes.

Dear customers, stop mumbling.  Use your words.  I can’t help you if I can’t understand you.

Dear customers, all you need to do is tell me the shoes are too big.   Kicking them off at me to prove your point is really unnecessary.

Dear customers, please ask your children to stop jumping on the couches.  And climbing the shelves.  I would also prefer if your 3 year-old wasn’t trying on heels.

Dear customers, I’m sorry, but your child is not allowed to go into the stock room.  Please keep him in the storefront… I’ve already brought him back three times.

Dear Customers (June 18th)


Dear customers, I’m sorry, but rolling your eyes at me won’t make the price change.

Dear customers, shoes are not one size fits all.  Please just ask for your size rather than attempt to fit your size 9 foot into the size 5.5 display shoe.

Dear customers, please don’t climb the shelves.

Dear customers, please ask your children to refrain from running out the door with the display shoes.

Dear customers, no… In a buy one, get 2 free sale, you can’t just pay for the cheapest pair.

Dear customers, for the 3rd time, we only display the right side of each pair. Please stop attempting to try on both right-foot shoes.

Dear customers, no… In a buy one, get 2 free sale, you can’t get the 4th pair half off.

Dear customers, no, I cannot do holds because of the sale. No… I can’t hold it for just a few hours. That would be putting it on hold.