Cosmopolitan and Buzzfeed have both done similar lists to this, but I couldn’t help but make one myself. I think everyone can relate to a few of these.
What made writing this list so fun is the fact that each guy listed below is based on either a guy in my life or in the life of a friend. Making this was an absolute blast.
1. The DIY Pinterest Project
He’s the one that doesn’t turn out the way you expected, even though it made so much sense. You had the materials. You could see what the outcome was going to be and you wanted it. It was so close and started so strong. But somewhere along the line, you screw it up and it doesn’t end up nearly as glamorous and perfect as what you thought you could make it. In the end you’re just left questioning why you thought you could pull this off while you hide the evidence of your failed attempt in the back of your closet.
2. The Campus Wi-Fi
He’s the one that’s flaky. He’s there… you know it, but you can’t connect. You try multiple times, but you don’t get the response you want. And if you do get a response, it takes forever. But then you’ll have a day where he doesn’t cut out or disappear or disconnect. He’s there for you and things just run so smoothly and you forget that you spent the last few days ranting about how annoying it is that the signals aren’t strong enough—until he reminds you the following week.
3. The New Arrival That’s on Clearance
He’s the one that’s a rarity. He’s the one that you find and then go home to call all your friends about because you just can’t believe you actually found something so perfect. He’s that one that’s the one—he’s what you want but doesn’t cost you everything you have. There’s a rule about finds like this. When you call your friends to tell them all about your wonderful luck, you must tell them where you found it and if it comes in their size and favourite colour.
4. The Lame Movie
He’s the one you go to because it looked so promising, but you just end up disappointed because it ran way too long and the ending sucked. You wish you could get your investment back since it really wasn’t worth it, but you know that won’t happen. You feel let down, but you just move on and hope that the next movie doesn’t make you feel the same way this one did.
5. The Bottle of Wine
He’s the one who turned into your best friend. When you first start drinking wine, you think you’re in love. You finally feel fearless and confident. But over time, the love changes. You begin to realize that you love wine, but you’re not in love with it. Eventually, it becomes your dependable friend that you turn to when everything else falls apart. Wine will always be there to comfort you and give you that confidence back when you lose it. It’s a strong bond, but it’s a friendship, not a relationship.
6. The Sparkler
He’s the one that you only get to enjoy for a short while. You love the time you have where sparks are flying and shedding light where it’s dark. You’re smiling and taking cheesy pictures because that’s just what you do when sparks are involved. But unfortunately sparklers burn out and they do so quickly. In the end, you just have memories and pictures of the good time you had. Break out the bottle of Pinot. And by bottle, I mean bottles.
7. The MacBook
He’s the one who isn’t user friendly. At first, you’re excited to have this MacBook. It’s yours and although it’s complicated, you’re looking forward to figuring out how it works. That seems like a fun challenge since you were getting bored of simple PC’s. However, that excitement begins to wear off when everything you knew about computers doesn’t apply to this one. It works in its own mysterious ways. And just when you start to get along and have figured out the tricks to spending time with your MacBook, it gets mad at you, flips you the rainbow wheel and freezes. As annoying as it is, you know it needs time to shut down and take a break before you can even consider trying to figure out what happened this time.
8. The “No Deal”
He’s the one that is good enough, but not as exciting as the thrill of what’s in the next box. The banker has already called and offered you a deal. It really is enough. You could definitely make things work with what he’s offering. Howie Mandel even told you so. After all, you went into the game knowing you may come out empty handed, so walking out with a decent deal could be satisfying. But can you settle with this deal when you know that pressing that No Deal button could lead to something better? No. You can’t. It’s going to be no deal, Howie. No deal.
You decide to leave this one behind and go for the excitement of picking the next box—even though it means risking picking the wrong box and having to live with regret when you can’t get your old deal back.
9. The Manicure
He’s the pretty one that you treat yourself to every once in a while even though you know it’s never actually going to last long. It’s only a matter of time before the chips start and you’re forced to wipe your nails clean. You always say it was a waste, but deep down inside you know you’ll be back again.
10. The Game of Clue
He’s the puzzling one. The relationship died, but what happened is unknown. You want to know the cause of death, but it will require some investigating. Who caused it? How did they do it? Where did it all go wrong? You’re a suspect, he’s a suspect, that ‘friend’ you’re pretty sure he loves is a suspect. You don’t know for sure and you have no idea what the weapon of destruction was or where the murder happened, but you plan on finding out. Accusations will be made.
11. The Dragon Fire Roller Coaster
He’s the starter one. He’s the first one you try out to see if you can handle roller coasters. It’s a good choice. There aren’t too many steep hills that make you feel like you’re about to fly off the track or crash to the ground, but there are still a few small loops to give you a few thrills without scaring you. It moves fast, but not too fast. When it’s over, you know you enjoyed yourself, but you’re ready for something a little crazier and a little more exciting. You move onto the next coaster, but you will always appreciate that first one.
12. The Bad Hair Cut
He’s the one that didn’t work and everyone knows about it. At first you thought you could pull it off. You told everyone that you thought it would work out so well. With that cut and your cheekbones, it was going to be a perfect match. But of course what you thought would work didn’t. In the end, everyone knows you went for it and hated it and now you have to pretend you don’t even care while you wait for time to pass so it grows out and people forget about that mistake you made. Quick, delete the photo evidence.
13. The Shoes You Can’t Break In
He’s the one who hurts you. When you first go out in that new pair of shoes, you think it’s going to be a great. You look good, you feel good and you’re pretty sure every other girl is jealous of you. But then things take a turn for the worse. The first night you go out with those shoes you come back with a blister. It hurts, but it’s not so bad. But then you go out again and when you return home you’re in more pain than you were last time. You thought it would get better, that the shoes would start to fit your feet the way you wanted them to, but they don’t. You may try a few more times, but they still cause you pain. And that’s when you take them off and promise to never wear them again. They aren’t worth it.
14. Your Shade of Lipstick
He’s the one worth standing up for. When you finally find a shade of lipstick that you love, it doesn’t matter what everyone else says. You stick with it. Your friends may tell you the colour is a bit too much and your mom will probably think it’s obnoxious, but you don’t care. If that shade of lipstick makes you feel like your best self, ignoring everyone else’s comments is worth it. You never know, maybe eventually they’ll warm up to the colour.
15. The Song Featuring Nicki Minaj
He’s the one with the turn off. Everyone loves finding new songs. You blast it in the car and try to sing words that you don’t know as loud as you can because you just don’t care. The song is too good not to. Then all of a sudden Nicki Minaj shows up to sing a verse and ruins it. The song just isn’t that good anymore. You have to choose: accept the annoying Nicki Minaj verse and keep listening to the song or change the station and let it go.