After sifting through the options online, you’ve sent a few messages back and forth… You’ve been wired with anticipation each time you hear that satisfying ‘ding’ of a new message reaching your phone. You click on the message to find a request to meet up in person. This is it. You reply, set a time and call and text everyone important in your life to tell them the news. Excitement builds, nerves settle in and the wait is excruciating.
To pass some time, you read various tips in articles and talk to your friends about it—you don’t want to mess this up after all. This could be the one. You head to your closet and pick out the perfect outfit. After trying on multiple combinations and standing in front of your full-length mirror, you send your most brutally honest friend a picture to see if she agrees that it’s what you should wear. You get her approval and you’re ready to go. You have your questions and talking points prepared, your outfit is on point, you’ve read advice for success, you’ve triple checked the time and place you’re meeting at. You are prepared.
When it’s time, you walk into the room and see the person you’re supposed to meet. You say your awkward hellos and sit down, thinking to yourself, “calm the fuck down. You’re going to do fine. You’ve got this.”
After reading that, are you thinking this is a date or a job interview? See, the lovely Emma Josephine helped me realize last night that finding a boyfriend and finding a job are the same process.
Dating sites are the job boards of the relationship world where you may find something that works, but you’re going to have to weed through a lot of creepy, questionable options before you find one that seems like a good idea.
The get-to-know-you dates and interviews are the same damn thing. You’re seeing if someone is a good fit and one wrong answer can matter more than you expect.
The guy or girl who says, “I don’t want anything serious right now” and wants to be casual is like the employer who warns that your internship will not lead to a job: non-committal.
The guy or girl who says, “this date was great, but I think I just want to be single,” is like the employer who you interview for, only to be told later that they decided not to carry on with that position.
A good date is the same relief and excitement as a good interview—it makes you think it will lead to something more.
A bad date is the same disappointment as a bad interview—it makes you feel like you’re stuck and life just isn’t moving forward.
Basically, being single is like being unemployed—you’re always asked about it and people say encouraging things like, “Oh, sweetie… You’ll find someone/something soon” and “You’re so great! Someone/something will come along” and “I’ll let you know if I hear of anyone looking for someone like you!”
Finding a relationship can be just as frustrating as finding a job and at times it can seem like there’s nothing suitable available. They are equally as difficult and if you’re dealing with both at the same time, well I’m sorry… I’m not very good at comforting people, so maybe just read one of those above comments…
I will say this though: For all of us in one or both of those situations, at least we get credit for trying. Plus, we probably have some damn good stories to tell during wine night.